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	-- she leaped up furously and said, "Do that again and I'll kick you where you'll remember it." Yeah I know it serves me right. That's not the point. Look I understand her position, I do! I can understand what it's like to be molested by a creep in the subway, and I've always been careful not to upset anyone for that reason. I wanted to demonstrate to her that I understand -- understood -- that I was a creep, that it was all right for her to be angry (some women feel guilty about expressing their anger when this sort of thing happens, you know?) But what could I do? Now all this didn't cross my mind consciously, but it's what I had in mind if you know what I mean. So I smiled (stupidly, I guess) and took off my glasses and smashed them under my foot -- the one with the wet sock. I don't think she got the idea (I'm not sure what the idea was). She stared at me a moment and then went to another car. I don't remember her expression -- I couldn't see it. I spent some time hoping she would come back with a cop. I didn't look at the other passengers; I couldn't see them either. I'm sorry. Hug me. So then I started to fantasize that I was writing a story. (I really don't understand why I do this -- I don't even like reading.) The story -- this is going to be hard to reconstruct -- is about this guy. How would it begin? Oh: "It was morning and like every morning, he had to get up. He had been having nightmares about small toes." Toes! Not toads. I don't know what it means; I only thought it up. So he is very timid and weak. And he is scared of pigeons. I spent a lot of time imagining him wincing every time a pigeon flies near him. Or covering his head and running in public when he sees a pigeon on a building. And the pigeons know! I mean they get a kick out of going near him and hissing ominously when he is on a park bench. It's not often that an animal can get back at people; you can't blame them. So anyway one day he notices -- I guess it's for real; I don't think he is imagining it -- that some of the pigeons have artificial limbs. I mean it! Some of them have little mechanical legs. Others have mechanical wings -- one is dragging along what looks like a tiny kidney machine on wheels. It's all very weird. I don't think I worked any more of the story out on the train; I'm not sure. I got