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	off at my stop; a cop had never come. So the neighborhood hasn't changed that much. (But it should have! It't been over twenty years. I feel cheated.) I can't take this. Hold me tighter. So I went first to my old playground. It was still there except that they put rubber padding under the swings and the slides. Childhood was dangerous when I was a boy. We were prepared for the real world. My sock had never dried (I think it actually froze while I was out walking around) and the cold made my foot hurt. (You know, that kind of cold soreness.) And I wanted to look at the children playing and the mothers watching (the mothers were my age or thereabout, right? Do you think we should have a child? Maybe after I get well.) But I couldn't see! This is really stupid. I would have to move up very close to see their expressions and I was afraid that everyone would think I was a pervert. I am a pervert! I have no more grip on my past than a voyeur has on his neighbor's sex life. I wanted to go on the swings, but I was sure all the mothers were watching me very carefully. (I don't know this; I couldn't see.) So I sat there shivering and fantasizing. I went over in my mind again about the man and pigeons with their various artificial parts. He started noticing them all over the place. He is outraged by this. Obviously someone is either experimenting on pigeons or there is a very sick sadist out there. He tries to interest the public in this. (I mean, this perfectly timid man has been roused to action.) He goes to the police (who understandably think he's nuts), his Congressman (he actually finds out who his Congressman is!) and other public figures. Oh by the way, I also developed other parts of his character: he is jealous of retarded people (I swear this occurred to me in the playground -- you'll see why I say this later) and is uneasy around television sets. Anyway -- hold me I'm cold -- I got too cold in the playground and finally left -- to the great relief of the mothers I imagine -- taking a few candy wrappers I found on the ground as souvenirs. I have them in my coat pocket. It would be better if you throw them out for me after I fall asleep. Don't do it now when I can see what you're doing and regret it. So as I think I've told you before (I hope you're not bored) my school was next to the playground. So I went to the